Infidelity
25 Guaranteed Signs of Cheating & How to Deal With It
Infidelity, or cheating, is a sensitive topic that can lead to significant emotional distress and heartache in relationships. If you suspect your partner may be unfaithful, addressing the issue and seeking relationship advice is essential. Many people in relationships struggle with infidelity, and you are not alone. In our article, we will discuss 15 signs of infidelity to help you understand the warning signs and take the necessary steps. (You’ll find more helpful and informative links at the end of this article!)
Why do people cheat on their partner?
Before we dive into the signs of infidelity, it’s important to understand why people cheat on their partners. Here are some of the more common reasons why people are unfaithful in their relationships, as noted by relationship experts:
Lack of physical and/or emotional intimacy in the relationship:
When a person feels neglected or disconnected from their partner, they may seek emotional or physical closeness with someone else.
Seeking validation and attention:
Some people cheat as a way to boost their self-esteem and feel desired by another person.
Boredom in the relationship:
Monotony can lead some individuals to seek excitement outside their current relationship.
Feeling unfulfilled in their own life:
If someone is unhappy with their own life, they may seek happiness and fulfillment outside of their relationship.
Opportunity and temptation:
Sometimes, people cheat simply because the opportunity presents itself, and they can’t resist the temptation.
Not feeling happy or connected in the relationship:
If there are underlying issues, such as constant arguing or lack of communication, it can drive a person to seek happiness elsewhere.
General disregard for commitment and loyalty:
For some individuals, cheating may not hold much weight in terms of dedication and loyalty.
25 Guaranteed Signs of Cheating
These reasons do not justify cheating, but they may help you understand where your partner is coming from and how to address the issue. Let’s now discuss some of the signs that may indicate infidelity in your relationship.
1. History of infidelity:
Does your partner have a history of cheating in past relationships? This could be a red flag, primarily if they haven’t addressed any underlying issues that may have led to their past infidelity. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly about this with your partner and seek professional help if needed.
2. Fear of commitment:
Is your partner afraid to fully commit to you or take your relationship to the next level? This could indicate they are not wholly invested in the relationship and may be tempted to cheat. Please pay attention to their actions and words when it comes to making future plans or discussing long-term commitments.
3. They’re emotionally distant:
Emotional intimacy is crucial to any healthy relationship. If your partner seems emotionally distant and disconnected from you, it could indicate they are investing their emotions in someone else.
4. Sudden improvement in their appearance:
While this might not always be cause for alarm, if your partner suddenly starts dressing differently, hitting the gym more often, or spending excessive amounts of money on their appearance, this could indicate that they are seeking to make an impression on someone else.
(Learn more about this from a woman’s perspective from relationship expert Brad Browning.)
5. Leaving the house looking amazing:
Similar to the above point, if your partner suddenly starts putting more effort into their physical appearance before they leave the house, they may be looking to impress someone other than you. This could include buying new clothes, using different grooming products, and getting ready more than usual.
6. Guarding their phone:
Is your significant other suddenly overly protective of their phone? Do they always keep it with them and get defensive when you ask to use it? This could be a red flag that they are trying to hide something from you. This type of behavior may include changing their phone password, deleting messages or texts, and avoiding leaving their phone unattended.
7. Spending more time away from home:
It could be a red flag if your partner is absent and gives reasons to not come home. This could mean they are spending time with someone else or doing activities they don’t want you to know about.
8. Unexplained absences:
If your partner is suddenly spending more time away from home, frequently working overtime, or making excuses for being unavailable, it could be a sign that they are cheating. Pay attention to changes in their routine and behavior or if they get defensive when questioned about their whereabouts.
9. They’re secretive about their whereabouts:
This ties in with the above point. If your partner is suddenly being secretive about their whereabouts and making excuses for not being able to spend time with you, it could be a red flag. They may be trying to hide where they are going or who they spend time with.
10. Changes in their intimacy towards you:
One of the most significant signs of infidelity is a sudden change in intimacy with your partner. This can include less physical contact, fewer intimate conversations, and a lack of interest in spending quality time together.
11. They have unexplained expenses:
If your partner suddenly starts spending a lot more money without any reasonable explanation, it could be a sign of infidelity. Cheating often involves expensive dinners, gifts, and hotel stays, which can appear as unusual expenses on credit card statements.
12. They show overly defensive behavior:
If your partner becomes excessively defensive when you ask simple questions about their whereabouts or activities, it could be a sign that they’re hiding something. Cheaters often try to deflect attention and avoid answering any questions that may reveal their infidelity.
13. Lack of interest in resolving conflicts:
One of the signs of infidelity is when your partner becomes disinterested in resolving disputes or disagreements. They may seem distant and unwilling to talk through issues, which can be a red flag that they are emotionally checked out from the relationship.
14. Unexplained gifts or flowers:
If your partner suddenly starts bringing home gifts or flowers without any special occasion, it could be a sign of guilt and trying to make up for their infidelity. This may also raise a red flag with you if this type of spontaneous behavior is not the norm.
15. Unexplained anger or hostility:
If your partner suddenly becomes unreasonably angry or hostile towards you, it could be a sign that they are trying to justify their behavior and deflect the blame onto you. Unexplained mood swings or erratic behavior can also be signs of infidelity.
16. Accusing You of Cheating
If your partner accuses you of cheating, they may be projecting their guilt onto you. Consider the reasons behind their accusations and be cautious.
17. Storytime Gone Wrong: Inconsistencies in Their Stories
If your partner’s stories start to not match, it could be a sign of infidelity. Pay attention to inconsistencies and differentiate between memory lapses and consistent discrepancies.
18. Changing Relationship Routines
Suppose your partner starts changing your typical routines, such as date nights or shared activities. In that case, they may dedicate their time and energy to someone else. Be mindful of any changes in your relationship dynamics.
19. Lack of Compliments and Appreciation
When expressions of appreciation decrease in a relationship, it may indicate that one partner’s attention is elsewhere. It’s essential to pay attention to how your partner communicates their feelings towards you.
20. Comparing You to Others
If your partner compares you to others unfavorably, they may be idealizing someone else. Address unfavorable comparisons as necessary.
21. The Mirror: Reflecting on Your Own Behavior
In some cases, our own behavior or insecurities can contribute to feelings of suspicion or paranoia about our partner’s fidelity. Reflect on your actions and emotions to ensure your concerns are grounded in reality rather than personal insecurities.
22. The Elephant in the Room: Unaddressed Relationship Problems
Unresolved issues in a relationship can create an environment that increases the likelihood of cheating. If you’ve been avoiding difficult conversations or ignoring problems, it’s time to confront them head-on.
23. The Love Detective: Friends and Family Express Concern
It’s essential to listen to the concerns expressed by people close to you regarding your partner’s behavior. They may have noticed signs you overlooked or were too close to see.
24. The Social Chameleon: Changes in Social Media Behavior
Sudden changes in your partner’s social media behavior, such as increased privacy settings, frequent interactions with a new friend, or deleting messages, could be signs of infidelity. It’s recommended to monitor online activity for any red flags.
25. The Locked Box: Password-Protected Devices
Suppose your partner suddenly starts password-protecting their phone or computer and becomes overprotective of their devices. In that case, it may be a sign of secrecy and hiding something despite the importance of privacy.
What to do if you expect your significant other is cheating?
It’s normal to feel a range of emotions if you suspect your partner is being unfaithful: anger, sadness, confusion, and complete betrayal, to name a few. As any relationship expert will tell you, the first step is communication – talk to your partner about your concerns in a calm manner. It’s vital to listen openly and avoid jumping to conclusions.
However, it’s important to watch out for certain behaviors that might come out when you begin this discussion, as these can also be red flags or warning signs that there’s something they’re hiding. Here are some emotional reactions to watch for when discussing infidelity with your partner:
Defensiveness:
If your partner becomes overly defensive when you bring up the topic, it could be a sign that they are trying to hide something.
Avoidance:
Does your partner try to change the subject or avoid having serious discussions about your relationship? This could be a red flag for infidelity.
Guilt:
If your partner becomes overly apologetic or guilt-ridden, it could be a sign that they are feeling guilty for their actions.
Denial:
Some people who cheat may deny any wrongdoing even when presented with evidence. This is a major red flag and should not be taken lightly.
Manipulation:
A cheating partner may try to manipulate the situation or turn things around on you in order to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Bargaining:
If your partner becomes desperate and promises to change or do better, it could be a sign that they feel guilty for their actions.
Anger:
Some people may become angry when confronted with accusations of infidelity. This is often used as a defense mechanism to deflect from the real issue.
Confusion:
Your partner may act confused or unsure when discussing infidelity, especially if they are trying to hide something.
If you’re uncomfortable talking to your partner, you can also seek support and advice from a trusted friend or therapist. A professional who is trained in these manners can provide you with the necessary guidance and tools to handle the situation. Looking to a close friend or family member for support and advice is also an option, as they can offer unbiased perspective and necessary emotional support during this difficult time.
Infidelity is a challenging and complex topic of discussion. Still, it’s important for the health and well-being of any relationship. If you notice any of these signs in your partner, addressing them and seeking help from a professional or trusted friend is crucial. Remember, communication and trust are critical in any relationship, so don’t be afraid to have open and honest conversations with your partner. By being aware of these signs and taking action, you can protect yourself and your relationship from the damaging effects of infidelity.
If you’re looking for more relationship advice or support, here are some additional resources that may be helpful: