In school, you wouldn’t take an exam before studying and preparing adequately for it. In any sport, you won’t be at your best if you don’t prepare adequately for it. It’s the same with marriage: if you want to have. a happily ever after, then you can miss the preparation stage. Ever wondered about the things you need to talk about with your partner before tying the knot? You’re not alone, but you have made the right step to find them out! A lot of couples get married without having such a discussion where big issues are made clear to each partner. Some things come out naturally in the dating phase but others actually need a real sit down to have a candid discussion. To get you started, here are things you really need to discuss with your partner before walking down the aisle.
Finances
Finance will always be a touchy subject for any couple. What is every one of you bringing into the marriage? What debts do they have to pay off? And what are the plans on how they are going to pay it? Believe it or not, if you don’t discuss issues around outstanding debts, your finances will be messed up with and you will have conflicts with each other, no matter how much you love each other.
Also, have a candid discussion about how you are going to contribute to your savings, how you are going to pay the bills, and how you are going to spend on different things in the house.
Children
Are you ready to have children? If yes, how many are you planning to have? You may be comfortable with having one but your partner may have a very different opinion than yours. If you move into marriage without knowing the exact number, then you’re going to face conflicts around the matter. It’s better done now than later.
Other aspects include the idea of adoption, fertility treatments, and if you are unable to give birth naturally. Are you willing to try different options to have the babies? And how long do you need before giving up on trying the natural way before trying another option?
Location
The fact that you were born and raised in one country doesn’t mean you will have to stay there all your life. Probably you may consider moving to a different country due to a lucrative job offer, better schools for your children, or moving closer to family. When this comes up, will your partner be ready to shift places? Especially when they will be going farther from their parents?
Religion
Is it important that your partner shares the same religion and believes with you? How does your religion shape your lifestyle? If your partner is a person who loves spending most of the weekends out with friends, and you love spending most of your weekends in a religious gathering, then you might find your lifestyles very different and sometimes could lead to disagreements. Changing someone is not easy. So, if you can’t leave them at that time after noticing the differences, then you have to compromise your beliefs at some point.
Dividing Chores
Dishes and laundry are the most common ones. But there are several others that you will need to discuss how you will be doing them. This ensures that one doesn’t feel like they are doing everything in the house without the help of the other.
If you hate cooking but love washing the dishes, suggest to your partner and see what they say. If they hate doing laundry, ask them if they will be comfortable doing something else as you take on the laundry. You can also hire someone for some chores that you both hate doing.
Intimacy
Marriage often means moving to commitment, trusting one partner, and only remaining faithful to them. It means sleeping with the same person for the rest of your life. Are you ready for that? Will they be enough to satisfy your needs? If not, you can discuss the possibility of an open marriage and strategies that can keep your spark alive. However, the best way is to put a pause on marriage until the idea of monogamy seems to be the best one for you.
Family Obligations
How much time are you willing to spend with your family? Regardless of how busy you are, can you still create some time for your family or you will reduce the family time? Is your partner ready for that? How will you give each of you equal time with your children? How will you spend your holidays with them? Too many questions that you need to put to rest before saying “I do.”
Vacations
What vacations are you ready to have together and what is the frequency of having them? It is always important to know how you will both plan for something both of you will enjoy. How will you raise money for the vacations? Where will you go? How long should they be? Some couples even prefer not to have their electronics switched on during vacations so that they can just focus on each other and their family. Are you ready to switch off the rest of the world in the same way?
Career
Do you live to work or work to live? It’s common to see people’s careers getting into their family life, and even most people forgetting about their responsibilities as parents or husband/wife. Discuss and draw a boundary. One main concern that people have noted is the career eating most of the family time. Are you a person who keeps on working while even in the house with the family until you go to bed? Then you should know that your partner may not like this behavior and may need more time from you when you get married.
Conclusion
Marriage is a long-term decision that if done haphazardly, then you may struggle to settle in it due to many issues you assumed before getting married. Discuss with your partner and know what to expect once you tie the knot.
