No relationship is perfect, and at some point or another, you and your partner will likely face a conflict. However, by utilizing some of the following tips, you can work to resolve those conflicts in a constructive and positive manner.
1. Talk openly and honestly with your partner.
This is perhaps the most important step in resolving any conflict. If you can communicate openly and honestly with your partner, you’ll be able to understand their perspective and work to find a common goal.
2. Ask open-ended questions.
Show them that you’re interested in what they have to say by asking open-ended questions like “how” and “why.” You’ll also want to ask your partner how they think the situation can be improved moving forward.
3. Listen actively.
The best way to show that you’re taking your partner seriously is to actually listen to what they have to say. Make an effort to understand their perspective, and don’t just focus on formulating a response.
4. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings.
One of the best ways to defuse a tense situation is to acknowledge your partner’s feelings. Let them know you understand that they’re upset, and let them know that you would like to resolve the conflict.
5. Work together to find a solution.
This is perhaps the most important step in getting past your conflict. By working together, you’ll be able to come up with ideas for how to move forward and avoid similar problems in the future.
6. Don’t let the conflict tear apart your daily routine.
It can be tempting to cut yourself off from your partner, but doing so can exacerbate the issues between you. If you don’t do anything else, make time for one another throughout your day and keep up with any shared habits or routines that might help reduce tension and stress.
7. Create a plan for future conflicts and discuss it with your partner.
If you use the tips above, you should eventually be able to resolve most of your conflicts. However, there’s no guarantee that they won’t reoccur in the future. After resolving one conflict, make sure you create a concrete plan together so that both of you know what to do the next time something arises.
8. Seek professional help if the conflict is too difficult to resolve on your own.
If you and your partner have been unsuccessfully trying to resolve a conflict for an extended period of time, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist can assist you in identifying the root of the problem and help you find a solution.
9. Take a break from one another if things are too heated.
In some cases, it might be helpful to take a break from your partner until the conflict has cooled down. This doesn’t mean that you’re giving up on resolving the conflict, but rather that you both need some time to calm down and gather your thoughts.
10. Don’t resort to name calling, insults, or threats.
Doing so will only make the situation worse and could potentially damage your relationship beyond repair.
11. Avoid bringing up old arguments or grievances.
If you’re struggling to resolve a current conflict, don’t dredge up past arguments or wrongs that your partner might have committed. Doing so will only add fuel to the fire and could make the current conflict worse.
12. Speak with an impartial third party if you can’t come to a resolution.
If your partner won’t meet you in the middle, or if neither of you seems willing to budge on certain issues, try speaking with a neutral third party. If you have a therapist, they may be able to help you and your partner come to an understanding.
13. Focus on what’s most important to you and let the rest go.
Every relationship is made up of different things that are important to each partner, and sometimes it can be hard for both parties to find common ground. Find one or two major issues to focus on and let the rest go.
14. Seek professional help if you feel your relationship is in danger.
Your relationship should be based on love, trust, and mutual respect for one another. If any of these things begin to falter, consider seeking professional help right away.
15. Both partners need to be willing to compromise.
Compromise is key in any relationship and it’s especially important when resolving conflicts. You won’t be able to get very far if only one partner is making concessions.
16. Don’t bottle up your feelings.
If you’re feeling angry, frustrated, or hurt, talk to your partner about it. It’s much better to get your feelings out in the open than to harbor them inside.
17. Make a list of what you want from your relationship and discuss each point with your partner.
Draw up a list together, then have a constructive conversation about each item on it. Having something concrete can help keep both partners focused and on track towards common goals.
18. Don’t try to change your partner.
If you’re not happy with certain aspects of your partner, it’s best to address those issues head-on. Trying to change them will only lead to frustration and resentment on both sides.
19. Try to be understanding and forgiving.
Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s important to remember that when resolving conflicts. If your partner makes an honest effort to apologize and make things right, try to forgive them.
20. Take a step back and assess the situation objectively.
This can be difficult, but it’s important to remove yourself from the situation emotionally in order to see things more clearly. Doing so can help you find a resolution that works for both of you.
If you’re having trouble resolving a relationship conflict, don’t worry – you’re not alone. Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but that doesn’t make it easy to deal with.
